The Welcome Wagon Rides Again!

June 13, 2006

The water must be good, because another good friend of mine has lept into the blogger pool. Defiantly Damned (that’s an alias, Davis), has her own blog now. Again, feel free to stop by and say hello if you’re so moved.


Jim-Bob Says "Check It Out!"

June 6, 2006

My friend, Kristin, has started her own blog. Kristin is famous in Jimmy lore, for it is she who took the photo of my spandex-clad ass. So you have her to thank (or blame). Anyway, I told her we have the coolest posse on the net, so swing by and say hello when you have a minute.


Yes, Tricia, There Really Are Dragons

May 31, 2006


You are looking at the skull of Dracorex hogwartsia (Dragon King of Hogwarts. Yes, in honor of Harry Potter), a newly discovered dinosaur that lived 66 million years ago in what is now South Dakota. I’ll bet she was real cuddly.

In other news:

  • Scientists grow artificial penis in lab. What else do you need to know? All I know is that I can live the rest of my life without reading “penis disfigurement,” “penis cancer” and “penis trauma” in the same penis story. Penis.
  • Looking for a new religion? ” . . . the Hieros Gamos ritual is said to have evolved into a highly developed spiritual discipline which enabled a man to attain “gnosis”, or direct knowledge of the Divine, through the ritualized sexual union with a woman, who has been specially trained as a priestess for this purpose. The theory is based on the philosophy that a man is fundamentally incomplete and can only reach godhood by “marrying” the feminine principle in a spiritual and physical manner, which supposedly triggers an altered state of consciousness at the moment of climax.”

Oy.


My Bologna Has A First Name

May 15, 2006
  • I can’t remember where I saw it, so I can’t link to it for you, but I read a good one-liner about the upcoming The DaVinci Code movie. “In response to the upcoming film, Christians plan to blow up movie theaters, and Christian Heads of State will call for the murder of Tom Hanks.” Heh, heh. Get it?
  • I also heard white people dancing referred to as looking like “wine-making slaves.” Heh, heh. Get it?
  • This morning, I stood at our full-length living room window in my gym shorts, checking out the morning sunshine, when my daughters came up and de-pantsed me in front of the world. I suppose I should be impressed they can pull off (or down) such a coordinated attack.
  • I made a grocery list this weekend, and had to use the Oscar Meyer song to spell “bologna.” (Had to do it again just now, actually.)
  • Thanks, Davis, for the biggest laugh I’ve had in quite awhile.

School’s Out

May 6, 2006
  • School is out for the semester. I’ve noticed that there aren’t many students my age. They either young enough to be my children, or old enough to be my parents. I have noticed that the young gals like to have me around . . . so they can copy my notes and have me in their study groups. Oh, well.
  • Speaking of school, I’ve noticed that people are really absorbed in their Ipods and cell phones. I usually leave the campus late at night, and it’s downright scary how people pay little attention to their surroundings. Can’t count the number of times I’ve passed a woman in the darkness, and she’s completely unaware of what’s going on around her. Dangerous.
  • Someone did a net search for “granny’s breasts” recently, and guess whose blog was the number one result? I’m so honored.
  • At least once a week, someone visits here after doing a net search for the so-called “Highgate Vampire.” I posted about this last September. I received a couple of lengthy responses from people who have strong feelings about it. It really is a fascinating story. If you didn’t see it, check it out.
  • If you like those planetarium programs for your computer, here are a few: Winstars, Celestia and Stellarium. Second star to the right and straight on ’til morning.
  • I finished the first draft of my first screenplay, and I’m stoked. The title is Bone Sigh. It’s about a man in his 30’s whose wife has an affair and leaves him. After he’s single again, he begins to slip into a moral tailspin. It’s not high concept, I know, but it’s got some good stuff in it. Anyone interested in being on my reading team?
  • One of the unexpected pleasures of fatherhood is rediscovering Disney movies. The modern, CGI films are great, but I prefer the hand-drawn classics like Cinderella, The Jungle Book and Peter Pan. There is something fascinating to me about the effort it takes to draw a feature-length animated movie. The music is wonderful, and the storytelling is tight and sophisticated. Walt was a pure genius.
  • I suppose I’m like most parents in that I worry about how my daughters will fare in the world when I’m gone. I could live to be a very old man, but we all know how brutal life can be. Just when things are going good, a drunk asshole swerves into your lane and you become someone else’s cautionary tale. My twin daughters are 2 years-old and I’ve noticed some things lately. If one of them starts to cough, or trips and bangs her knee, the other will rush up to ask “Are you okay?” If one sneezes, the other says “Bless you.” If one cries, the other asks “What’s the matter?” They share toys without asking. They dance together. If they are apart for a long period of time, they run to each other when reunited and hug. They share a sisterly love I can only marvel at. I know they will be okay as long as they have each other. And I’ll be okay as long as I have them. I am truly blessed among men.

Have a great weekend.


Captain America

April 1, 2006

I will kill your leaders and convert them to Christianity!!!


Just Shut Up and Listen

February 21, 2006

Here’s a great tune, “Underground Garden,” from my friend, Tree. Enjoy.

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