Nice Bum Where You From?

  • If your puppy carries home a scalp in his furry little maw, the best thing to do is take it door-to-door and see if anyone answers with a bloody dome and a very bad mood.
  • One of my favorite types of news stories: Young punks try to assault old man and get their asses shot instead.
  • I heard a commercial claiming that the best way to get a woman to take her clothes off is to give her a pajamagram. Is this true? If so, I know quite a few people who are going to be getting pajamagrams from me.
  • Some search engine terms that brought people here: chicken pox on buttocks; plump granma; doctor tushie; naked buttocks beating; bouncing butt; mermaid porn; horny mermaids; nice bum where you from; kid cutting man’s head off; dragon’s penis; fat butt pants say juicy; bouncing butt painting. If anyone has a video of the last one, I’d like to see it.
  • The other day, Mrs. Jimmy and I tried to impress upon our daughter the importance of not tying things around her neck. “You could die,” was the ultimate lesson. My daughter then informed me that I was not to do any harm to myself, because if I died, I might fall through the wall and break the house, then the cold air would get in, and when (Aunt) Cami and (cousin) Ashton visited, they might get cold. So you see, it is vitally important that I live so the relatives don’t get cold.
  • Another school shooting somewhere (you can fill in the blank as to location). However, I’m not taken in by this hoax. Schools are gun-free zones, so it’s impossible to be shot at school. Tell the news media to go peddle this lie somewhere else.
  • Our girls each got a disposable camera for Christmas, and yesterday I stood at the sink at some level of undress when I heard, “Smile, Dad!” along with hearing a click and seeing a flash. The girl at the photo lab is in for quite a surprise, I’d reckon.
  • Nebraska is considering abolishing the death penalty. Isn’t it interesting how laws protecting convicted murders work every time? While the innocent continue to suffer cruel and unusual punishment? Maybe we should all become criminals.

Don’t eat the yellow snow.

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4 Responses to Nice Bum Where You From?

  1. Kristin says:

    hehehohohaha! I love the search engine terms. Bouncing butt painting? nice….
    I’m glad that your family hasn’t had remodel the house because of your death. What a hassle I tell ya.

  2. Fletcher says:

    Dragon’s penis? I missed that in the discussion.

    I thought that you were all buff, now? Are you really a danger to breaking through a wall in your home? If so, you have a class action suit against the contractor.

    I don’t believe that any Government Agency should have the “right” to put someone to death. Not when there is a chance of error.

    Oddly enough, I am absolutely for the right to bear arms and shoot any worthless dren-head that comes into your home and attempts to harm you or your family.

    So I’m not against killing, per se’, just against someone in Authority invoking the right to kill.

    Yes, we know I have issues.

    I want a pajamagram, but, I sleep in the nude. I feel left out. Someone send me a nude-o-gram.

    &

  3. Davis says:

    Give me the gun……You better be at least 1000 yards away to survive. Just the fear you will feel before you die, as opposed to the ones you have killed will be enough……unless I catch you.

  4. Jimmy says:

    Kristin: I’m still waiting for an example of bouncing butt painting. I may just have to try it myself.

    Fletcher: Unfortunately, I have little to add to the Dragon Penis discussion, so not sure how I ended up on that list, ha.

    I have slowly come around to the idea of banning capital punishment. Not because I give a shit about their suffering, but, like you, I do not think that the state should have such a power, particularly when the system is so corrupt.

    Welcome back, old friend. And thanks for leaving me with the image of you sleeping skyclad.

    Davis: See? Who needs state executioners when we have Davis?

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