You Can Still Fart in America

farting-preacher.jpgAlas, the rumors aren’t true.

It was reported that Camden-Rockport Middle School had banned intentional flatulence, which is properly defined as “flatus expelled through the anus” and that intentional farting could result in detention. However, Principal Maria Libby says that there is no new school policy on blowing ass, although she admits that “farting can still be considered a disruption.”

Says student Jordan Taylor: “They [eighth-grade students] would do it [heiney honk] in science class and other places. It’s a natural occurrence, and we all do it 16 times a day.” Hey, maybe you only do it 16 times a day, my little eighth-grade leprechaun, but a real man does it 16 times an hour.

One student expressed mixed feelings as to whether or not the public fart show was appropriate. Mixed feelings? If delivering a butt burp were ever appropriate, it wouldn’t be funny.

“Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.”

Oh, I’ll bet that meeting was a hoot . . . or was it a toot?


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