"When You Hear the Thunder . . "

June 27, 2006

Today marks the fourth anniversary of the death of The Who bassist John Entwistle. “The Ox,” as Entwistle was known, pioneered electric rock bass, and with Keith Moon formed the most devastating rhythm section in rock history. He died only one day before The Who were to launch their North American tour. If you’ve seen their performance in The Concert for New York City, you can tell it was going to be a major comeback. This man is in my personal Mount Rushmore.

Here is a nice eulogy delivered at his memorial service. What a cool guy he was.

The Official John Entwistle Homepage.

Now sit down, boys and girls. It’s time for your bass lesson . . .

“When you hear the thunder, think of John Entwistle . . . “


I Fired My Muse

June 24, 2006
  • I saw a girl at the store who wore those britches that have words written across the ass. Her ass read “Juicy.” What with all the wiggling and twitching, it was hard to read, and I tried not to look, honestly I did, but I like to read, and I considered the text across her bouncing butt to be a challenge, so I accepted. Really, though, is “Juicy” the word you want associated with your tushie? Sounds like something you would see the doctor for. Consider synonyms for “juicy”: dank, dewey, dripping, humid, oozy, pulpy . . . okay I’ll stop.
  • I’m considering marketing my own line of pants with the phrase “meaty, beaty, big and bouncy” across the ass. Anyone care to test market it for me??
  • We converted half our basement into a little movie theater. We purchased a home theater projector, painted half a wall with movie screen paint and it works pretty slick. We tested it out by watching Star Wars. What I love about that movie is that whenever I see it, I am 6-years-old again, sitting in the Sun Theater in Holdrege, Nebraska, with eyes wide open in wonder, scarcely able to believe that people could create something so awe-inspiring. Few things take me back so vividly. I’ll always be grateful to George Lucas for that.
  • My girls don’t like flies. They’re scared of them. One entered the dining room while they ate, and Abby said, “Daddy, get the bug.” Laura said, with deep conviction in her voice, “Daddy’ll get it.” So, chest swelling, nostrils flaring and clutching the rolled-up Sunday paper, I bravely set forth to kill a creature about one millionth my size. After several whiffs, I decided I was never going to win. So, I loudly swatted the counter and proclaimed myself the winner. The girls cheered me, and then the fly reappeared. The girls frowned and said, “Daddy, you didn’t get it.” This is why you don’t lie.
  • Oculolinctus refers to the act of licking a partner’s eyeball for sexual arousal.
  • Bizarre headline of the day: “Anna Nicole Smith’s Former Stepson Dead at 67.”
  • I fired my muse. I had grown too dependent on her. Her name is Cindy. Not sure how she got that name. She has long red hair. She is the subject of a painting that used to hang in our office. She sits in a boat. The look on her face is mysterious. She could be sad or angry or about to laugh. You just can’t tell. She is still in the house, only in the bedroom now. She had grown unreliable, and I had grown tired of waiting for inspiration to come to me. I’ve shifted to the Jack London school of thought: “Don’t wait for inspiration, go after it with a club.” Now, in Cindy’s place is a stark print of the Mary Celeste. It’s a reminder to me that life is mysterious, and I love the mystery.

Have a mysterious weekend.


June 19, 2006

Check out Cosmotions for some of the coolest time-lapse gifs ever.

A Voice from the Past

June 19, 2006

Recently, while cleaning out old files and boxes, I came across this letter from my grandma, gone 6 years this November. I miss her. It was nice to talk to her again.

Mon. P.M.

Dear Tracey & Jim,

So nice to have you out here for a visit.
I saw this article in the paper and thought you might like to look at it. I wonder how our “Cornhuskers” will do now in the Big 12? I hope they keep doing good.
It’s cloudy and gloomy here today, hope we get a little rain out of it.


Granma C

A Funny Thing Happened at the Store . . .

June 18, 2006
  • I was in the checkout lane at the grocery store earlier today, and the young lady behind the counter wished me a “Happy Father’s Day.” Reflexively, I said, “You, too!” Then I had to explain that I didn’t mean to imply that she was somebody’s father.
  • I was in another checkout lane today, and when the checker was done scanning my items, she pointed to the items belonging to the lady behind me and asked if we were together. I said no, then turned to the lady and said “we must make a convincing couple.” She gasped, laughed, harrumphed, hiccuped, wheezed and said “I’m much too old for you.” Boy, that was much more fun than I had anticipated.
  • Speaking of music: I heard “Wild, Wild West” on the radio today, and took note of the lyric “heading for the 90s, living in the wild, wild west.” Crickey, remember when we were “heading for the 90s”? The End of the Innocence.
  • I heard Jewel’s “You Were Meant for Me” in the grocery store, and she must have re-recorded the song. She sounded like she was drunk, stoned and crying at the same time. It was very, very bad.
  • I’ve decided that “Won’t Get Fooled Again” is the most perfect rock song ever. The evidence: Rebellious lyrics (“the hypnotized never lie”), thundering bass line, the primal scream, meaty guitar riffs, Keith Moon drum solo. I rest my case.
  • A lesbian artist in Ontario is serving up breast milk cocktails. No, really. She will interview all donors to decide the right type of glass to use to highlight the uniqueness of each woman’s milk. Make mine a pina colada.
  • I saw a plump girl in the store today wearing a (too small) shirt that read “Husky Cheerleader.” Honey, I’d change mascots if I were you.
  • Well, here I am. A dad. Only creatures as proud and tough as us could survive repeated (accidental) blows to the testicles. Here’s to the dads.

Well, I’m off to watch a Disney movie with my family. Life is good. Have a great weekend.

You Weren’t Doing Anything Important, Anyway

June 13, 2006

At a cool blog, The Voice of the Munkey, I came across a site where you can create your own Picasso. You can see my piece of crap here.

The Welcome Wagon Rides Again!

June 13, 2006

The water must be good, because another good friend of mine has lept into the blogger pool. Defiantly Damned (that’s an alias, Davis), has her own blog now. Again, feel free to stop by and say hello if you’re so moved.