The Aliens Brought Me Back

October 27, 2005

Please forgive me, friends, for the long delay in posting anything new and being absent from your blogs. I’ve been busy with family duties, schoolwork and am going gangbusters on a novel I’m working on. I’m taking some time to reevaluate what I want to do here, so if I do continue, I may change things around a bit. We’ll see. Please bear with me.
In the meantime, I received an International Male catalog yesterday. Tell me, ladies, how would you react if a man strutted into your bedroom wearing this?

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Myths Become Reality

October 15, 2005

The International Society of Cryptozoology has a couple of fascinating lists. The first is a list of the most significant zoological discoveries of the last two hundred years, including the mountain gorilla, Komodo dragon and giant panda, all thought to be only myth until a white man saw one.
The second list is unverified claims of various animals and “monsters” that have the Society’s attention, including the giant octopus, lake monsters and giant ground sloths.
No word on bigfoots who flip the bird.


Save the Wildlife! Use Viagra!

October 15, 2005


Asian men are switching to the blue pill to cure their impotence, meaning they can now put away their sliced deer antlers, seal penises, seahorses, green turtle eggs and bear gall bladders, thus saving the wildlife population.
Chinese men are said to be “deeply suspicious” of Western medicine, and will only trade in their animal cures “unless they have a very good reason.”
I don’t think insurance covers seal penises. There’s another bonus for making the switch.


Did You Know . . .

October 14, 2005

. . . that sperm trading can resolve hermaphrodite mating conflicts? I didn’t either. Don’t ask me to explain it, ’cause I don’t understand. Look at the ad at the bottom of the article, though.


No Thanks, I Don’t Want It Back

October 13, 2005

A Romanian woman tried to steal a cell phone by hiding it up her butt. Witnesses saw her take the phone, but when police searched her, they couldn’t find it. They called the cell phone to see where it was, and discovered the woman either hid the phone in her colon or had farts that sounded like “Play that Funky Music.”
Say the police:

The station doctor extracted the phone and we sprayed it with disinfectant before handing it back to its owner.

Why don’t you give it another coat with that spray can, officer.


You Don’t Say . . .

October 13, 2005

A headline from the “No Shit” file . . .


Headline of the Day

October 12, 2005

A new superhero has emerged to help fight malaria . . .