A Realization
It suddenly occurred to me that there are now millions of women who would rather be married to me than Tom Cruise. So there.
It suddenly occurred to me that there are now millions of women who would rather be married to me than Tom Cruise. So there.
April 24, 2006 at 1:53 pm
You are such a stud!
April 25, 2006 at 3:49 am
The one’s that you don’t marry, could you give them my name?
&
April 25, 2006 at 5:12 am
Stephanie: Admit it. You’d take me over Tommy Boy anyday. Admit it!!
Fletcher: I don’t actually have a list. I’m just playing the odds that most women don’t want a placenta sizzling on the grill. It ain’t much of an edge over Tom, but it’s a pretty significant one, I think. Works for you, too.
April 25, 2006 at 4:00 pm
I would. Totally.
And the whole placenta grilling thing, makes me want to puke. *shudder*
April 26, 2006 at 12:27 am
Oh God!
Does that mean I have to fight ‘em off? Last time I had to fight for a man I broke a heel and had a Lee Press-On nail firmly embedded in my hair for a week.
Jimmy, you are a pain in my ass.
April 26, 2006 at 2:54 am
Stephanie: Sweet! I can’t wait to tell Oprah all about it.
Tricia: Sorry to be a pain, but don’t worry. Unless they have the reddest, sexiest toenails I’ve ever seen, they won’t be much competition.
April 26, 2006 at 3:19 am
Um… Burning the placenta would be an acceptable ritual. Prayers to the gods. But, um, is he gonna eat it?
Thats cannibalism. Shouldn’t do that unless you are planewrecked in the mountains.
&
April 26, 2006 at 4:48 am
Funny coincidence - I just happen to be wearing ‘placenta red’ toenail polish. However I am seriously considering boycotting red until I get some spandex.
Fletcher I do believe you need to tell your waiter how you want your placenta grilled.
Rare? Medium Rare?
Otherwise I hear they just burn the hell out of it.
April 26, 2006 at 5:07 am
I didn’t send you the spandex?
April 26, 2006 at 5:17 am
No you didn’t.
I am not playing ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ with you anymore!
Gah!
What a tease!
April 26, 2006 at 5:27 am
Well, I’d hate for the game to end.
Actually, I sent you an email. It’s the address listed on your profile . . . is that your correct email?
April 26, 2006 at 5:32 am
It must have gone to my ‘other self’. That happens after long periods of medication.
I will look again.
Perhaps you are Spam?
April 26, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Damn. I had a book on natural healing remedies, from the seventies. There’s a chapter on natural childbirth and I swear, it makes a reference to eating the placenta. It noted that placenta is good when fried with onions.
I about died. I don’t plan on giving birth ever, but if that changes, you can be sure I’ll be as numb and unconscious as medical technology safely allows. And the placenta, ee-gads! I don’t even want to see it.
April 27, 2006 at 2:07 am
Spam and placenta - I’m getting a marketing idea here. We can sell it in little cans with roll top lids.
Sounds crazy, but look what Ted Turner did with Buffalo?
word verification: focwui
kind of rolls off the tongue
April 27, 2006 at 4:35 am
Onions, eh? I learned that the placenta tastes like beef, and if you’re going to cook it, any beef recipie should work.
If you strip away the cultural taboos, placenta is actually a very nutritious meal. It must be part of an ancient plot to make all things feminine seem “icky.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if Spam is already made from . . . oh, never mind.
ofbbkjim: not sure, but it has my name it it. That can’t be an accident.
April 29, 2006 at 11:27 pm
If you say we’re eating placenta at the gathering I am not coming. I want surf and turf, not gag and barf.
Next you’ll be telling me it tastes like chicken.
May 1, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Tastes like beef, actually, but okay, no placenta grilling at the Gathering.
May 3, 2006 at 8:27 pm
Damn. I guess I’ll have to order the spleen again…….